She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Randomize