Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
