I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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