Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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