I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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