I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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