I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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