That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
