Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
