Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
