I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
