I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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