the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
