i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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