This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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