sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
