Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That's intense
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
