Buhtt sex?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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