I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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