i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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