She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
