Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
