small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
