i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
