Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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