i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
