We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Your cock deserves a montage
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
