I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it glows. i had to have it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
