remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
