never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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