Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
