You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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