Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This gyro tastes like lonliness
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
