So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
