Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
