Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize