It's Friday. Sex?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
