my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
