so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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