david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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