We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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