We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
