he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
