We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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