We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
