They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
