If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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