Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The power of my boobs compel you
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
