i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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