3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize