so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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