i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
