Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
