My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
