He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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