People with herpes should wear stickers.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize