tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
